Why Can't You Act Your Age?

I was going down an aisle in WalMart the other day, like all good Americans do periodically, and I heard a little family fuss going on in the next aisle. Over all the usual noise, I heard a mother say “act your age!” I’ve only heard that a few million times, and most of those times I was the one saying it. As I rounded the corner I couldn’t help but peep, just to see what was really happening. She was maybe 30, and her little boy was probably 6. As I got closer, I saw that his eyelids were red and puffy, and that he had those telltale dark colors around his eyes that told me he was way overdue for a nap. He was alternating between sobbing and hiccupping, and stood under the watchful glare of Mom. I had a blinding flash of insight. He was acting his age. He couldn’t have been more than 6, and he was obviously worn out. What he really needed was a nap. I thought back to all those times I had told my own children to act their age, and I realized that they probably were doing just that, too. So what do we really want them to do when we tell them to act their age? I think we want them to act like small, quiet, well-mannered adults. The only problem with this is that they don’t have the coping tools or the life experience to act that way. And oh, by the way, next time you’re in WalMart, take the time to observe the first 25 adults you encounter. Do you really want your kids to act that way? I didn’t think so. So what’s a young mom to do? I can think of a lot of “touchy-feely” suggestions, but most of those only work in the abstract, and most of us live in the here and now. Things like timing shopping trips so that the kids are not too tired to behave; or timing them so that the kids can stay at home with Dad – there are all kinds of good suggestions out there. Problem is, we no longer live in a June and Ward Cleaver time and place, and sometimes going shopping with a sick, tired, cranky little one is the best one can do. Just try real hard not to be a sick, cranky parent in return. One bad actor to a scene is enough.